User contributions for 96.252.136.88

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29 July 2013

  • 11:5811:58, 29 July 2013 diff hist −21 Main PageThat first line didn't accomplish anything, it's noise and should be cut. In fact, I recommend cutting the next line too and starting with "The world as you know it is gone" since that grabs you right away. I have worked as a professional editor.